In my head I have always viewed June 11th as my Cancerversary – the date I was diagnosed – but the hospital that has looked after, treated and watched over me for the last five years didn’t come into contact with me in June…it was several months later.
So, for them my 5 year mark is roughly now…or roughly 3 weeks ago when I had my 5 year CT scan.
Now I know that not every stage 2 patient gets a 5 year scan….I did push/beg/throw a diva strop to get one…but thankfully they agreed that considering my original Melanoma was so deep and aggressive it would be better to release me with peace of mind rather than as a messy ball of anxiety!
Any Cancer patient will tell you that the wait between a scan and receiving results can become like torture without the physical pain…mood swings, emotions running high, lack of sleep….and that’s just what I inflicted on others!
That wait hasn’t been helped this time around given the last 3 weeks on the support group called “Melanomamates” have been “January-ied”….I know…its not a word….so I shall explain.
For whatever reason January brings sadness…I’ve mentioned this before in most January blog posts….patients die or face brutal news in January seemingly more than in any other month of the year. It’s recorded…it’s acknowledged…sadly it is just is what it is….
So anyway…maybe it was the weather change…maybe it was Brexit….(I mean let’s blame this on Brexit because frankly everything else gets blamed on Brexit & why not…it’s a disaster waiting to happen….)….
It matters not what caused it, but the last 3 weeks have brought the January effect…the loss of patients & friends…scan results that share sadness rather than joy. In all honesty, whilst I might have started my waiting game 3 weeks ago with my big girl pants pulled up high come thing morning I was positively trembling with nerves.
Thankfully, The Mr took the day off building our new home to join me on the long drive to Oxford. He tolerated my silence and irritable company…..the other drivers on the road were not so lucky & there are a few unfortunate souls this evening wondering why some blonde bird gave them the V’s because they were driving 12mph in a 30 zone!
Dr Nick Coupe had the pleasure of handing over my news…in his words “let’s cut to the chase it’s all good!”
Dr Coupe was one of the first oncologists I met at Oxford & he also stood in for Prof Mark Middleton at very short notice at last year’s Melanoma Patient conference. Not only an excellent doctor, but a really nice guy who was genuinely thrilled for The Mr & I about how he had shared this last 5 years with us in all it’s high’s and low’s!
It hasn’t escaped my notice that the wonderful advances in treatment in the last year that have brought Adjuvant Therapies to the table…treatments that hold more potential for Melanoma patients than ever before. These are the very treatments that if I had been diagnosed today I would have been eligible for. I read the details and think how much I had longed for this sort of option 5 years ago…
Would that have changed me?? Would my survival or NED status be different now if I had got onto the trial I tried to get onto 5 years ago? Will the new treatments options bring a cure closer to the horizon??
I can’t say for certain & indeed no-one can…
The only certainties are that I now need to face a different tomorrow…I don’t have the routine of appointments to schedule life around, although I have been advised to always remain watchful & keep up with my skin & lymph node checks. Like the congratulations “but” moment!
It’s certain that the latest treatments bring hope…along with different pressures for our hospital teams & a heap of new effects for them to understand and learn from.
It’s certain that I am & always will be a Melanoma patient…in my mind & that of the medical professionals. ..I’m just on a much needed sabbatical.
And most importantly, it’s certain that I am going to very much enjoy the glass of Bubbly that The Mr just poured me.
Good Night my friends x