Puns intended….the surgery was another Colon procedure & as my beloved 9 year old announced in the playground this afternoon, I am unable to go running this week because I had a “camera shoved up my bottom.”
The wonderful thing about little people is that they can process the horrible stuff through humour & smiles…they don’t tend to overanalyse and need to know everything.
We have over the last few years had a few awkward questions & the heart-breaking comment or two like “I don’t like it when you go into hospital because I don’t want you to die”…but we are gradually starting to drip feed more information about what I have, to the little people.
The fact that we have radically changed our diet, lifestyle and holiday habits hasn’t gone un-noticed! Plus frequent visits to Oxford…a few scars (some larger than others) and 24 hours of no food is something of a giveaway!
The surgery I had went relatively complication free…in that there was only 1 largish lesion/polyp left to remove. A 20mm lesion that resulted in “operation room yoga”.
OK…trying not to get too “graphic” (because I am more likely to blush than you)…during said Endoscopy one has to lie on your left hand side…wearing THE MOST GLAMOROUS blue pants with access panel at the back (heavy sarcasm should not go undetected!).
In general, it is on your left that you remain…although you are “lucid” and occasionally need to move slightly in order to assist easier movement inside…
This time however the last monster was in a hard to get point & I had to move, lean, twist…it felt like a cruel yoga style joke was being played on me.
Thankfully it is done….there are about 5 more “smaller” lesions still in place – however they are all less than 5mm in size and will be left there as a means to monitor & measure growth. They did discover a clip from the previous procedure still in place – 6 months!!! Now the best bit….they don’t want to see my face (or bum) for a year!!!
Talking of bums…in a less internal exploratory way….the biggest issue I find with these surgical blips is that it interrupts my routine.
That sounds so pathetic I know. Surgery is an inconvenience…err…no S*^t!!!
I like my running…and even when work commitments or a generally manic life mean I don’t get to go to running club, I can at least use the Exercise bike that I have at home….but I need to allow time for recovery and for at least a week I shouldn’t use the exercise bike & probably not do a 10k run for another week after that.
So I stand infront of the mirror and mentally watch my bum wobble reaching epic kiddie jelly proportions, and feel the strength in my lungs decreasing on a daily basis.
I feel good when I get to do some kind of decent exercise every day…and not just good because I get to fit into my skinny jeans without having to put oil on my skin before trying them slide on…or needing to undo the buttons when I sit down in them! Mainly I feel good in my head – because I feel like in a way this is helping to keep me alive…to keep the cancer away…and so every day that I don’t get to do the fitness stuff is a day that I think…is it coming back.
I know its neurotic….yet I find my hands checking my lymph nodes more this week.
A friend, providing necessary verbal sympathy for my aching tummy, suggested that I just curl up on the sofa with a big tub of ice-cream and loads of chocolates…that will make you feel better she said….but you see…it will & it won’t. For 20 minutes or so I will get the pleasure…but then will come the awful dawning realisation that I am not going to be able to burn off those calories…that surplus sugar is food….food for my cancer…and food for my bottom…food that let’s be honest isn’t welcome. (talking about the wobbling bum here!)
The Mr is also keen to get fitter…and his work commitments are even more intensive than mine of late, so joining a club or gym is not very practical.
Apparently…(somewhat amusingly for me)…sitting on an exercise bike isn’t that comfy for “a man”.
So our house is about to be joined by another bit of “kit”….downsizing is not an option….there is a running machine on it’s way!
Which is probably a really good thing….not just for the wobble management program that shall recommence in 7 days time…but because it will help with the logistics of squeezing a 3rd run into my week….I need to “up” my training…I just signed up to do a ½ marathon!